The rest all have told you that I'm worse than Hell
I'm selfish and moody and lazy as well
Besides that, I'm childish and stupid and ugly
I treat girls like objects to look studly
I'm all sorts of greasy and sick and disgusting
I don't see why any woman would love me
But you're here, and you hold me in your arms so tight
And you shed a tear when you think you've lost me after a fight
And maybe you'll be the one I'll marry under the sun
Or maybe you're gonna jet, but hey - you haven't yet
You're probably wondering from whence came this rant
I make them quite often - I'd stop, but I can't
I try to be friendly and helpful and caring
And comfort anyone when they're despairing
Despite that, I'm headstrong and racist and whiny
I'm sure it seems like my heart is quite tiny
But you're here, and you hold me in your arms so tight
And you shed a tear when you think you've lost me after a fight
And maybe you'll be the one I'll marry under the sun
Or maybe you're gonna jet, but hey - you haven't yet
Now you say that I'm lovable, gentle, and kind
I'm like virtuous, trustworthy, honest defined
I'm perfect in every way
Wait, what the hell'd you just say?
Now I see why you hold me in your arms so tight
And I'll never leave just because we had some stupid fight
Though really I'm just a sleaze, you see the angel in me
Quite why, I won't ever get - at least, I haven't yet
You're still here, and you hold me in your arms so tight
And you shed a tear when you think you've lost me after a fight
I know that you'll be the one I'll marry under the sun
There's no way you'll ever just, 'cause hey - you haven't yet
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